Another Goodbye

Growing up as an ex-pat kid I learned that good-byes are never easy. I spent my entire life being very careful about who I got close to because I knew that it would not last. Like all things in my life, all of my friendships had a expiration date. Sooner or later my dad was going to come in the living room and tell the family we were moving, again.

Ex-pat life taught me a great deal of things. I know how to adapt (fairly quickly) to most situations. I know how to keep my head down when I need to and speak up when necessary. I know that sometimes people just don't know what they are talking about so it's your responsibility to be the best version of yourself you can be. This way, the next time they talk they will have a position experience to base it off of. I know that gesture can mean a million different things and that sometimes those gestures can be incredibly hurtful. Unfortunately, I also know to keep my distance to avoid getting hurt and to be hard, particularly on myself.

As I prepare to leave Saudi and embark on yet another ex-pat experience (I'm moving to Shanghai, China) I look back on the many good-byes I've had to say along the way and dread the good-byes that are yet forthcoming. I am reminded that good-byes hurt everyone and we all have our own way of dealing with that pain. Saying that you will live in the moment and not focus on the impending end, is easier said than done. Those of us who have never had a permanent home and know that life is uncertain, seem to live our lives waiting for that other shoe to drop. We know that nothing lasts and as a result close ourselves off before we even get a chance to truly experience anything. We worry about letting people in close because eventually we will hurt them (by leaving) and end up hurting ourselves in the process.

Even with all of this, I know that there are people you may say good-bye to but they stay with you forever. These people are rare to find but when you do, you know that you will carry a piece of them anywhere and everywhere you go next. You realize that good-bye really becomes more of a "until we meet again." I wish I could say that all of my friends fall in this category, but the sad truth is that some will linger a bit longer than others, but will eventually fade away. There are only very few people who really do stay with you for the rest of your life.

My life at KAUST has not been an easy one but that does not mean that saying good-bye is going to be any easier. I do believe that there are people here who belong to that special group of people that have changed me for the better, to whom I will be forever indebted to and that I will carry with me so that they can help guide me through whatever comes next.