At what point is complacency and happiness the same thing? I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm overjoyed about where my life has led me, but at the same time I can't really say that I'm unhappy. And so I pose the question, is there a point in your life (once you become an adult and embrace all that brings) that just being content is actually the mark of happiness? Or is it that I have become so cynical that things just don't quite seem to reach my ever growing expectations? Is there something wrong in reaching for the moon, and if you can't actually get there do you really end up among the stars?
How many stars have I met with in my quest for the moon? When I was growing up I never imagined that I would be 28 years old, single and living in the Middle East. My life has had more twist and turns than I could have ever expected and while I don't regret the decisions that I have made and where they have led me, there are times when I wonder if I would be just as happy (if not happier) had I chosen to do things differently. Granted, I will concede that there is no point in dwelling on the past and thinking of what might have or could have been, but there comes a point in everyone's life where you turn around and really examine what you have done to get to where you are. I guess the next logical step would be to think about where you want to go next. What are the steps you need to take in order to get your there? And here again I arrive at the daunting realization that most of my life has been a series of unexpected events that I could have never really planned for and certainly didn't account for, so what then, would be the point of my starting a plan now when all my past plans didn't quite pan out?
This introspective mood that I find myself in today also makes me think about what it means to happy as an expat, woman, non-muslim living in KSA. I attended another consulate party this weekend and it got me thinking: 'here are a group of foreigners all brought together by the allure of alcohol and the illusion of "normal".' But again I find myself asking what is normal? Yes, this was a pool party and the women were (gasp) wearing bikinis! And there were (gasp) mojitos, and (double gasp) daiquiris that were not virgin! And let's be perfectly honest, that is why people went. It's certainly not the horrendous "bbq" food or the music (which I still think is the same play list that was has been playing at the last two consulate events that I've attended), but it's for the sense that this is what we would be doing "at home." Hanging out with friends (and new acquaintances) and having a drink.
It has to be said, that because these parties don't happen very often, there is probably more drinking than there should be. In fact, these parties remind me of college binge drinking in many ways. It's like going to a frat party where everyone is in the late 20's and early 30's, bizarre but true. You still have your "frat brothers" trying to hit on anything or anyone, and your "sorority sisters" wearing way too much make-up and way too little clothes. And of course, like any good college party, there is that group of "neither here nor there" people who just kind sit back and watch the rest of the party attendees making fools of themselves. Were we actually back home, we would all find these parties incredibly boring and perhaps even a little immature.
But getting back to the point, at what point do we consider this type of behavior normal? And what is normal behavior anyway? I live in a country where I this type of behavior would be considered highly inappropriate, and yet have learned that some people in this country have parties that are way more outlandish (I have not attended one of such parties). Is there a double standard or a sense of hypocrisy somewhere in all of these rules and regulations so that while in public everyone is set to behave one way, behind closed doors all rules are forgotten?
It's interesting to think about the many standards, code and regulations that this country abides by and how they are divided by religion and gender (and even nationality). I guess in a way there is something about living in a world defined by rules that makes people all the more eager to break them while pretending that life has (and should) always be like this. So again I ask, where is the line between complacency and happiness?
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Searching for giants...
Three months, wow, it's already been three months since I started this craziness and I'm still here. There have been ups and downs. Moments of sheer panic, utter foolishness and lots of laughter. I've learned a lot about myself, who I want to be and how I'm going to get there. Living in Saudi has given me a new appreciation for things I would have otherwise taken for granted. In the end, these three months have flown by and I'm actually excited about what lies ahead. This has not been at all what I imagined, but then again what good story ever is?
I passed my probationary period and celebrated by going scuba diving in the Red Sea. Our quest? To find whale sharks. And so we set off to the mystical land that is called Al-Lith, which is only about three hours south of KAUST. The drive was fairly uneventful, except for the camel in the middle of the road that we and the other two cars in our little caravan of diving aficionados almost hit!
Once we arrive at the "resort" which was really more like a Motel 6 (clean, decent but very very very basic), we had a quick lunch and then all piled into a large boat. There was going to be a lot of diving and fun in the sun to be had and we couldn't wait to get started.
On the boat we headed out for about 40 min and went on our first dive of the weekend. The diving itself wasn't spectacular, but we did see a lot of really cool stuff. We saw two large "crown of thorns" starfish, three eels (one big, one medium, one small), lots of coral (that was awake and moving like I've never seen before), huge clams, a blue spotted ray and tons of baby fish everywhere. True to form, I don't like having my picture taken.
After the dive we all got super excited because a whale shark was spotted not far from where we were. We dashed like crazy people to get there, but unfortunately, by the time we arrive the whale shark had had enough of people as was nowhere to be found. We did however get to see quite the sunset on the Red Sea.
The day ended well, although not with the high we had hoped for. We got back to the "resort," had dinner and all went to bed dreaming of the whale shark we had not seen.
The next morning we woke up at 6:30am, had a quick breakfast and were on the boat by 7am. We had decided to go to a dive site which was about 1.5 hours away and wanted to get there before the water got cloudy. About 30 min into the ride, we get a radio call. A whale shark had been spotted! Again we dash like crazy people and this time, joy! We were able to see it, swim with it and basically hang out with a baby (3.5 meter long) whale shark for about 45 min. What a phenomenal experience. The whale was completely unfazed by the fact that 18 people were crowding around it like lunatics, all desperately trying to get a "good view." It is a majestic creature that basically just swam around and ate plankton, seemingly unaware that we were even there. I can safely say, that this was one of those moments I will never forget (and I would be willing to bet that everyone there would say the same).
After swimming with the giant we had been searching for, all of us were thrilled. The day simply could not have started off better and could have ended right there and we all still would have been happy. But it did not end there. After the whale shark snorkeling adventure we still proceeded to our scuba diving destination and were greeted by dolphins on the way there. There is something just so special about dolphins that whenever I see them they just make me smile. It's like they were congratulating us on a job well done. Joining in our little celebration that our weekend search had already been successful.
Once we arrive at the site, we all went right in. The dive was better than the one from the day before but again, nothing that I though warranted a wow. Then again, after the whale shark few things were going to make me say wow. We saw more giants clams, a tiny orange, blue, black and white sea slug and an octopus. After the dive we proceeded to lunch on an island with a random Bedouin tent.
The water was so clear I, for a second, forgot where I was and imagined myself back in the Caribbean. We got to walk around the island (which actually had real sand, something that is not often found in Saudi). After lunch, we went out on a second dive, had a great time, saw dragon fish, another blue spotted ray and other lovely sea creatures. The day ended with a fond farewell from another group of dolphins and a manta ray sighting.
The drive back was actually a lot smoother than I had anticipated and we did get to see one of Saudi's classic sunsets.
Overall it was a fantastic weekend, a great way to round out my probation and realize that even in Saudi there are great adventures to be had.
I passed my probationary period and celebrated by going scuba diving in the Red Sea. Our quest? To find whale sharks. And so we set off to the mystical land that is called Al-Lith, which is only about three hours south of KAUST. The drive was fairly uneventful, except for the camel in the middle of the road that we and the other two cars in our little caravan of diving aficionados almost hit!
On the boat we headed out for about 40 min and went on our first dive of the weekend. The diving itself wasn't spectacular, but we did see a lot of really cool stuff. We saw two large "crown of thorns" starfish, three eels (one big, one medium, one small), lots of coral (that was awake and moving like I've never seen before), huge clams, a blue spotted ray and tons of baby fish everywhere. True to form, I don't like having my picture taken.
After the dive we all got super excited because a whale shark was spotted not far from where we were. We dashed like crazy people to get there, but unfortunately, by the time we arrive the whale shark had had enough of people as was nowhere to be found. We did however get to see quite the sunset on the Red Sea.
The day ended well, although not with the high we had hoped for. We got back to the "resort," had dinner and all went to bed dreaming of the whale shark we had not seen.
The next morning we woke up at 6:30am, had a quick breakfast and were on the boat by 7am. We had decided to go to a dive site which was about 1.5 hours away and wanted to get there before the water got cloudy. About 30 min into the ride, we get a radio call. A whale shark had been spotted! Again we dash like crazy people and this time, joy! We were able to see it, swim with it and basically hang out with a baby (3.5 meter long) whale shark for about 45 min. What a phenomenal experience. The whale was completely unfazed by the fact that 18 people were crowding around it like lunatics, all desperately trying to get a "good view." It is a majestic creature that basically just swam around and ate plankton, seemingly unaware that we were even there. I can safely say, that this was one of those moments I will never forget (and I would be willing to bet that everyone there would say the same).
After swimming with the giant we had been searching for, all of us were thrilled. The day simply could not have started off better and could have ended right there and we all still would have been happy. But it did not end there. After the whale shark snorkeling adventure we still proceeded to our scuba diving destination and were greeted by dolphins on the way there. There is something just so special about dolphins that whenever I see them they just make me smile. It's like they were congratulating us on a job well done. Joining in our little celebration that our weekend search had already been successful.
Once we arrive at the site, we all went right in. The dive was better than the one from the day before but again, nothing that I though warranted a wow. Then again, after the whale shark few things were going to make me say wow. We saw more giants clams, a tiny orange, blue, black and white sea slug and an octopus. After the dive we proceeded to lunch on an island with a random Bedouin tent.
The water was so clear I, for a second, forgot where I was and imagined myself back in the Caribbean. We got to walk around the island (which actually had real sand, something that is not often found in Saudi). After lunch, we went out on a second dive, had a great time, saw dragon fish, another blue spotted ray and other lovely sea creatures. The day ended with a fond farewell from another group of dolphins and a manta ray sighting.
The drive back was actually a lot smoother than I had anticipated and we did get to see one of Saudi's classic sunsets.
Overall it was a fantastic weekend, a great way to round out my probation and realize that even in Saudi there are great adventures to be had.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Abu Dhabi et al.
It has been much too long since my last post and there have been a ton of things that have happened, so I'll dive right in:
Speaking of diving I finally went scuba diving in the Red Sea. It was a night dive and it was gorgeous. I went with a group of mostly faculty members who all turned out to be guys. So not only was I the only one in the group that does not have a PhD (yet) but I was also the only one who has to wear an abaya to get to the beach. The guys, however, were all great and because I was the only girl there made sure I was all set. Between them they helped me (and by help I mean they did it for me) set up my gear, get in and out of the water and made sure I was always ok during the dive. The dive itself was a lot of fun! But for some reason of five new flashlights that been purchased for the dive, four of them went out ten minutes into the dive (including mine and my dive buddy's) so we all basically had to dive as a large group of eight.
During the dive we noticed bio luminescent plankton, lots of fish, beautiful coral and even cuttle fish. I hadn't been diving in almost five years, so I was a little nervous to get back in the water (and even more because it was at night) but as soon as I was under, it was like I was one with the water once again. I had so much fun.
Here are some pictures of the group, getting ready and what we saw once we were in the water:
In addition to my deep sea adventure I also had the opportunity to visit Abu Dhabi last weekend. This was my first time out of the kingdom since arriving in the Middle East and I must say that after seeing UAE I've realized that KSA is probably as "Middle East" as it gets. Everything else is more the the "light" version.
Let me explain, first off, you don't have to wear an abaya. While I have made my peace with the abaya and can understand why some women find in liberating, I still think of it like a black sack. However, in Abu Dhabi you saw women in shorts! Maybe I've been in KSA for too long, but I was almost shocked to see some of what the people were wearing. Again, this is probably due to the fact that the only thing I knew about the Middle East is what I have experienced here in KSA and at KAUST. And even while KAUST is as liberal as KSA can be, it still pales in comparison to other parts of the region.
The city of Abu Dhabi itself is pretty small, and very clean (especially when compared to Jeddah). We were able to walk everywhere (something you wouldn't necessarily do here) and had a great time. I was surprised to see that everyone there follows the rules. The taxi drivers will not speed or stop in the middle of road and you rarely hear someone honk their horn. After being in Jeddah, which is the worst city to drive in, in the worst country to drive in, in the worst region to drive in, you can only imagine how nice it was to see everything work "as it should be." I don't think the cabs in Philly, New York or San Francisco are that organized.
My favorite part of the weekend however, was seeing a dear friend. She moved to Abu Dhabi in August to take a job as a college counselor at an American School there and like me is having a ball but is definitely working on adjusting to life in the Middle East. It was so nice to talk to someone who was going through some of the same issues I was going through, although she is allowed to drive and there is alcohol in UAE. Speaking of alcohol, I had almost forgotten how lovely a good glass of red wine is... but I digress.
We arrived in Abu Dhabi on Wednesday night, and promptly bought all kinds of alcohol at the duty free. I then proceeded to my friends house, where we caught up for a bit but went to bed at a reasonably early hour because she had to go to work the next day (the weekend in UAE is Friday - Saturday unlike KSA's Thursday - Friday). On Thursday I got up after she already left, and so I met up with my KAUST friends (there were a total of nine of us on this trip) and we went to breakfast. We walked along the corniche looking for a place to eat and finally found a place called Colombiano's Coffee (hilarious I know).
After breakfast, we all jumped into cabs and went to see the Abu Dhabi souqs. They were pitiful. I don't know if we have just become accustomed to souqs here in KSA, but the ones in Abu Dhabi were just, well, bad. After the souq, we went to the grand mosque. Wow. It is an absolutely gorgeous place, if you are ever in Abu Dhabi, I would highly recommend visiting. We arrived at the mosque and were told that the women had to wear abayas and head scarfs to get it (they provided us with them, because none of us had thought to bring our own). We walked along the mosque and took pictures (posted below). After the mosque I met up with my friend and we went to dinner. Where my love affair with wine was rekindled and all was right with the world. After dinner we simply chatted for a bit and again went to bed fairly early.
On Friday, I said goodbye to my friend (she was going to a desert resort with her boyfriend) and met up with my friends for breakfast. This time we ended up at a french bakery and were served more food than you can imagine. After breakfast we went to the palace hotel, which is a seven star hotel I think. In order to get on the grounds you have to follow a dress code (no shorts, and no tank tops). The hotel grounds and the hotel itself are really quite something. Then again they should be, the cheapest room is over $1,000 a night! After that we realized that Red Bull was having their air race, so we decided to go the marina mall and watch from there. It was interesting and all, but I guess I'm not much of a plane person so I was an enthralled as others. After the race we stopped at a large supermarket and bought chocolate Easter eggs (you can't find those in KSA). Then dinner and the plane ride home.
This week, was long, as I'm sure you can imagine, but the weekend was delightful. I went windsurfing. I hadn't been windsurfing since I was a kid, but apparently it's like riding a bike, once you learn you never really forget. The wind was pretty negligible, but it was great to relearn how to turn and stand and get the sail to go in the direction I wanted it to. Unfortunately, no pictures allowed on the beach, so you'll just have to take my word for it that I did a pretty good job :)
Speaking of diving I finally went scuba diving in the Red Sea. It was a night dive and it was gorgeous. I went with a group of mostly faculty members who all turned out to be guys. So not only was I the only one in the group that does not have a PhD (yet) but I was also the only one who has to wear an abaya to get to the beach. The guys, however, were all great and because I was the only girl there made sure I was all set. Between them they helped me (and by help I mean they did it for me) set up my gear, get in and out of the water and made sure I was always ok during the dive. The dive itself was a lot of fun! But for some reason of five new flashlights that been purchased for the dive, four of them went out ten minutes into the dive (including mine and my dive buddy's) so we all basically had to dive as a large group of eight.
During the dive we noticed bio luminescent plankton, lots of fish, beautiful coral and even cuttle fish. I hadn't been diving in almost five years, so I was a little nervous to get back in the water (and even more because it was at night) but as soon as I was under, it was like I was one with the water once again. I had so much fun.
Here are some pictures of the group, getting ready and what we saw once we were in the water:
In addition to my deep sea adventure I also had the opportunity to visit Abu Dhabi last weekend. This was my first time out of the kingdom since arriving in the Middle East and I must say that after seeing UAE I've realized that KSA is probably as "Middle East" as it gets. Everything else is more the the "light" version.
Let me explain, first off, you don't have to wear an abaya. While I have made my peace with the abaya and can understand why some women find in liberating, I still think of it like a black sack. However, in Abu Dhabi you saw women in shorts! Maybe I've been in KSA for too long, but I was almost shocked to see some of what the people were wearing. Again, this is probably due to the fact that the only thing I knew about the Middle East is what I have experienced here in KSA and at KAUST. And even while KAUST is as liberal as KSA can be, it still pales in comparison to other parts of the region.
The city of Abu Dhabi itself is pretty small, and very clean (especially when compared to Jeddah). We were able to walk everywhere (something you wouldn't necessarily do here) and had a great time. I was surprised to see that everyone there follows the rules. The taxi drivers will not speed or stop in the middle of road and you rarely hear someone honk their horn. After being in Jeddah, which is the worst city to drive in, in the worst country to drive in, in the worst region to drive in, you can only imagine how nice it was to see everything work "as it should be." I don't think the cabs in Philly, New York or San Francisco are that organized.
My favorite part of the weekend however, was seeing a dear friend. She moved to Abu Dhabi in August to take a job as a college counselor at an American School there and like me is having a ball but is definitely working on adjusting to life in the Middle East. It was so nice to talk to someone who was going through some of the same issues I was going through, although she is allowed to drive and there is alcohol in UAE. Speaking of alcohol, I had almost forgotten how lovely a good glass of red wine is... but I digress.
We arrived in Abu Dhabi on Wednesday night, and promptly bought all kinds of alcohol at the duty free. I then proceeded to my friends house, where we caught up for a bit but went to bed at a reasonably early hour because she had to go to work the next day (the weekend in UAE is Friday - Saturday unlike KSA's Thursday - Friday). On Thursday I got up after she already left, and so I met up with my KAUST friends (there were a total of nine of us on this trip) and we went to breakfast. We walked along the corniche looking for a place to eat and finally found a place called Colombiano's Coffee (hilarious I know).
After breakfast, we all jumped into cabs and went to see the Abu Dhabi souqs. They were pitiful. I don't know if we have just become accustomed to souqs here in KSA, but the ones in Abu Dhabi were just, well, bad. After the souq, we went to the grand mosque. Wow. It is an absolutely gorgeous place, if you are ever in Abu Dhabi, I would highly recommend visiting. We arrived at the mosque and were told that the women had to wear abayas and head scarfs to get it (they provided us with them, because none of us had thought to bring our own). We walked along the mosque and took pictures (posted below). After the mosque I met up with my friend and we went to dinner. Where my love affair with wine was rekindled and all was right with the world. After dinner we simply chatted for a bit and again went to bed fairly early.
On Friday, I said goodbye to my friend (she was going to a desert resort with her boyfriend) and met up with my friends for breakfast. This time we ended up at a french bakery and were served more food than you can imagine. After breakfast we went to the palace hotel, which is a seven star hotel I think. In order to get on the grounds you have to follow a dress code (no shorts, and no tank tops). The hotel grounds and the hotel itself are really quite something. Then again they should be, the cheapest room is over $1,000 a night! After that we realized that Red Bull was having their air race, so we decided to go the marina mall and watch from there. It was interesting and all, but I guess I'm not much of a plane person so I was an enthralled as others. After the race we stopped at a large supermarket and bought chocolate Easter eggs (you can't find those in KSA). Then dinner and the plane ride home.
This week, was long, as I'm sure you can imagine, but the weekend was delightful. I went windsurfing. I hadn't been windsurfing since I was a kid, but apparently it's like riding a bike, once you learn you never really forget. The wind was pretty negligible, but it was great to relearn how to turn and stand and get the sail to go in the direction I wanted it to. Unfortunately, no pictures allowed on the beach, so you'll just have to take my word for it that I did a pretty good job :)
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