Unrealistic Expectations

I'm sure we've all done it. Created an illusion of someone based on someone we have just met. Then we make the fateful mistake of assuming that illusion and reality are one and the same thing. We soon find ourselves enamored by the idea of a person, whether it's because we looking for a soul mate or a new best friend. We place our hopes and fears into this person and hope against hope that our trust has been properly placed. We believe that this person is different and they understand us, complete us and will be with us for the rest of our lives. Then, the inevitable happens. They disappoint us.

Living the life of the expat I have learned one thing. People are rarely what they seem and certainly not what we want/hope/need them to be. When your options are limited, you make friends with anyone who will talk to you. You convince yourself that this shared experience will bind your friendship forever. You overlook things that would normally drive you crazy, and forgive what could otherwise be considered unforgivable. You are lonely and believe that the only people who can understand what that feels like are the people who have decided to live the same nomadic lifestyle. You are wrong.

The truth, as I see it, is that there are people who are meant to come into your life for a certain amount of time. Many of those of people are were friends of circumstance. People who would talk to you, that you shared a common experience with and as such were willing to overlook other personality "flaws." They were in your life when you needed them to be there, they were there for you, they taught you something about yourself, helped you get on your way or stopped you from doing something rash. In the end, the biggest disappointment is really the illusion that we ourselves have created. We must learn to accept this and move on.

In looking back at this year and my life in Saudi, I have learned a great deal about myself and the people I surround myself with. I have discovered the power of a real friend who may be thousands of miles away, but still knows exactly what to say and when. I have learned that true friends are with you regardless of where you are or how often you talk to them. They are with you in good and bad and have no problems in telling you when you are wrong or have made a mistake without passing judgment. They listen when all you need to do is vent, and will do their best to make you laugh when all you want to do is cry. While they may not know what it feels like to live where you do, they know you, and in the end that's all that really matters. These are the people that are with for the rest of your life and I have learned that we all need to take more time out of days to let these people know how lucky we are to have them in our lives and how much better our lives are because of them. Thank you to all of you who fall into this category.