At what point is complacency and happiness the same thing? I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm overjoyed about where my life has led me, but at the same time I can't really say that I'm unhappy. And so I pose the question, is there a point in your life (once you become an adult and embrace all that brings) that just being content is actually the mark of happiness? Or is it that I have become so cynical that things just don't quite seem to reach my ever growing expectations? Is there something wrong in reaching for the moon, and if you can't actually get there do you really end up among the stars?
How many stars have I met with in my quest for the moon? When I was growing up I never imagined that I would be 28 years old, single and living in the Middle East. My life has had more twist and turns than I could have ever expected and while I don't regret the decisions that I have made and where they have led me, there are times when I wonder if I would be just as happy (if not happier) had I chosen to do things differently. Granted, I will concede that there is no point in dwelling on the past and thinking of what might have or could have been, but there comes a point in everyone's life where you turn around and really examine what you have done to get to where you are. I guess the next logical step would be to think about where you want to go next. What are the steps you need to take in order to get your there? And here again I arrive at the daunting realization that most of my life has been a series of unexpected events that I could have never really planned for and certainly didn't account for, so what then, would be the point of my starting a plan now when all my past plans didn't quite pan out?
This introspective mood that I find myself in today also makes me think about what it means to happy as an expat, woman, non-muslim living in KSA. I attended another consulate party this weekend and it got me thinking: 'here are a group of foreigners all brought together by the allure of alcohol and the illusion of "normal".' But again I find myself asking what is normal? Yes, this was a pool party and the women were (gasp) wearing bikinis! And there were (gasp) mojitos, and (double gasp) daiquiris that were not virgin! And let's be perfectly honest, that is why people went. It's certainly not the horrendous "bbq" food or the music (which I still think is the same play list that was has been playing at the last two consulate events that I've attended), but it's for the sense that this is what we would be doing "at home." Hanging out with friends (and new acquaintances) and having a drink.
It has to be said, that because these parties don't happen very often, there is probably more drinking than there should be. In fact, these parties remind me of college binge drinking in many ways. It's like going to a frat party where everyone is in the late 20's and early 30's, bizarre but true. You still have your "frat brothers" trying to hit on anything or anyone, and your "sorority sisters" wearing way too much make-up and way too little clothes. And of course, like any good college party, there is that group of "neither here nor there" people who just kind sit back and watch the rest of the party attendees making fools of themselves. Were we actually back home, we would all find these parties incredibly boring and perhaps even a little immature.
But getting back to the point, at what point do we consider this type of behavior normal? And what is normal behavior anyway? I live in a country where I this type of behavior would be considered highly inappropriate, and yet have learned that some people in this country have parties that are way more outlandish (I have not attended one of such parties). Is there a double standard or a sense of hypocrisy somewhere in all of these rules and regulations so that while in public everyone is set to behave one way, behind closed doors all rules are forgotten?
It's interesting to think about the many standards, code and regulations that this country abides by and how they are divided by religion and gender (and even nationality). I guess in a way there is something about living in a world defined by rules that makes people all the more eager to break them while pretending that life has (and should) always be like this. So again I ask, where is the line between complacency and happiness?
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think content and complacent leave two very different impressions in my mind. on the outside, they may look very similar, but how your mind accepts it feels different. contentment seems peace from within, where you can be content in hot pursuit (usually more in youth) or find contentment and happiness in whatever it is you have (a more quiet peacefulness i imagine that increases w age).
ReplyDeleteComplacency, i think of as more forced peace. Where there's more of an element of "can't be bothered." There is change you want or steadiness that you want, but you don't pursue it because of a degree of ambivalence. It's a more giving-up-type of acceptance in life.